Radical Self-Love for Women Over 40: 5 Steps to Finally Put Yourself First.
Radical Self Love For Women Over 40
Let’s be real—self-love isn’t just bubble baths and face masks (although, hey, if that’s your jam, soak away!). Real self-love runs deeper. It’s about unhooking from self-doubt, embracing your worth, and showing up for yourself in ways you may never have before.
For women over 40, self-love and self care need to be non-negotiable. Why? Because we’ve spent decades being everything to everyone—wives, moms, partners, employees, caretakers, you name it. And now? It’s our time. I know this probably makes you cringe. You feel selfish even saying it. Well hear me out.
Why Self-Love Matters (Like, Really Matters)
Studies show that self-love isn’t just some feel-good buzzword—it actually impacts our health, happiness, and longevity. According to research from the University of Hertfordshire, women with high self-compassion experience less anxiety and depression and enjoy more fulfilling relationships. Plus, self-love reduces stress (and we all know chronic stress is a one-way ticket to burnout).
What does self love look like? Self love is:
Setting boundaries without guilt.
Speaking your mind unapologetically.
Saying no to things that drain you.
Saying yes to things that light you up.
Prioritizing your pleasure, dreams, and well-being.
Not giving a damn about societal expectations.
Sound like what you want? It’s available to you.
5 Steps to Love Yourself Like You Mean It
1. Rewire That Inner Critic
Your inner voice matters—so if she’s a raging b*tch, it’s time for a rewrite. Women over 40 have internalized years of conditioning that says we’re not enough (not thin enough, young enough, accomplished enough—you get the idea).
Action Step: Start a daily self-compassion practice. When you catch yourself spiraling into self-criticism, pause and ask: “Would I say this to my best friend?” If the answer is no, rewrite it with kindness. Transform your negative self talk and practice self acceptance.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Take Up Space
Society doesn’t want us to be the fullest versions of ourselves. It loves to tell women to shrink—physically, emotionally, even the volume of our voices. But midlife is the time to take up All. The. Space.
Action Step: Practice standing tall—literally. Power poses aren’t just for job interviews. Stand with your feet grounded, shoulders back, and own your space. Claim your seat at the table. You belong there. Speak up in meetings. Have that conversation with a loved one you’ve been putting off. You matter.
3. Prioritize Your Happiness; What Feels Good
Loving yourself means making choices that nourish you. This applies to everything—what you do, what you wear, how you move your body, what you eat, and who you spend time with.
Action Step: Make a ‘Hell Yes’ list. Write down 10 things that make you feel amazing—from certain friendships to foods to music. Then, commit to incorporating them into your week. Keep the things that make you say ‘Hell Yes!’
4. Unapologetically Prioritize Your Pleasure
Women are conditioned to put their needs last. It’s not your fault. It’s the way we were raised. Well, not anymore. Pleasure and joy for women in midlife is muy importante! Whether it’s taking solo vacations, indulging in creative passions, or embracing your sensuality—pleasure is a radical act of self-love.
Action Step: Schedule daily pleasure like it’s an important meeting. Whatever brings you joy—whether it’s dancing in your kitchen, reading in silence, or speaking up in the bedroom—make it non-negotiable.
5. Cut the Toxic Sh*t
That means toxic relationships, toxic beauty standards, toxic diet culture—anything that makes you feel like you need to be ‘fixed.’ You are enough just the way you are.
Action Step: Do a ‘Toxicity Audit.’ Take inventory of the people, habits, and social media accounts that make you feel bad. Notice your energy. Then, distance yourself accordingly. Hit unfollow, block, or minimize time spent. Your vibe is sacred—protect it. Setting healthy boundaries is one way you can do that.
It’s Time to Love Yourself Out Loud
Self-love isn’t about perfection. It’s about giving yourself a big juicy permission slip to make choices that honor you, and it’s about refusing to play small.
Here’s your reminder: Midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s your f*cking encore. Cultivating inner peace and finding joy after 40 will help you become the boldest, truest, most unapologetic version of yourself. Your best life is waiting, but you have to love yourself first.
So, what’s one thing you can commit to today in the name of self-love? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to cheer you on!
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