Embracing the Pause – Why Taking a Step Back in Midlife is the Key to Moving Forward

The Guilt of Slowing Down

In a world that glorifies productivity, pausing can feel like failure. Especially for women in midlife, who’ve spent decades juggling careers, families, and responsibilities, and taking care of All. The. Things. The idea of stepping back can bring up guilt, fear, and an unsettling question: If I’m not constantly doing the things for everyone, am I still valuable?

Here’s the truth—your value is not wrapped up in doing more (although society doesn’t want us to know this.)

You’re value is in who you are and sometimes you need a pause to help you remember that.

A study from the American Psychological Association found that women in midlife experience the highest levels of stress due to caregiving responsibilities, work-life balance struggles, and societal pressure to “have it all together.” Curated feeds on social media make us believe, we’re not keeping up.

Only a small percentage of women prioritize intentional breaks, so this leads to burnout, anxiety, and a disconnection from their true selves.

What if we were to say f*ck that, and flip the script? What if instead of not being okay with asking for help and pushing through exhaustion, we gave ourselves permission to take a freaking break—fully, unapologetically, and without guilt? (Let me know in the comments, how it feels just reading this.)

Feeling Stuck? Maybe You Need to Pause, Not Push

If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly DOing but not truly BEing (aka living), you’re not alone. Many women over 40 reach a point where they ask, Is this all there is? Society conditions us to believe that success comes from pushing harder—but what if the most powerful move you could make right now is to pause? To rest?

Hear me when I say, stepping back isn’t about giving up or giving in. It’s about recalibrating, reconnecting with yourself, letting go of what isn’t serving you and stepping forward with more clarity and confidence than ever before. (And who doesn’t want that?)

Why Women Over 40 Need to Normalize Pausing

Women are tired! According to Deloitte’s Women @ Work report, 42% of women feel constantly burned out—yet we hesitate to slow down, fearing we’ll fall behind. Women also fear what people will say or think. If they take a break from doing all the things, what does this mean about their worth?

The research actually shows that taking breaks improves productivity, decision-making, and overall well-being.

Pausing and slowing down can lead to:

Clarity – When you remove the noise, you can reconnect with your intuition, (and that b*tch knows what’s up!)

Self-Discovery – A pause helps redefine what YOU want your midlife to look like.

Energy Renewal – Chronic stress drains you. Rest is a radical act of self-care. (I’m here for it!)

Better Decision-Making – Instead of reacting, your mind is clear and you can respond with intention.

Empowered Action – A pause helps you move forward on your terms. F*ck Yeah to that!

Signs It’s Time for a Reset

Not sure if you need a pause? Here are a few signs:

*You feel disconnected from yourself or your desires.

*You’re exhausted but are afraid to slow down and don’t know how.

*You’re questioning your life: career, relationships, habits, or purpose.

*You feel resentment, frustration, or numbness.

*You constantly think, What’s next for me? but have no clear answer.

My Own Pause—And What It Taught Me

I have had a few times in my life where I’ve taken a pause because I felt disconnected from myself and my purpose. I felt like I was spinning my wheels and asking, “does any of this really matter?” The end of 2024 blew me backward and I needed time to re-steady my footing. I had 2 major losses and a sister get diagnosed with cancer. I needed a pause. I stepped back from a business that felt draining. I still held my clients, but I didn’t have energy to be visible on social media and continue to crank out content. (This is a big no-no in business marketing because you “don’t want people to forget about you.”) At first, it felt uncomfortable—like I was disappearing, like I was falling behind. But then, something incredible happened:

I stopped doing things that drained me and I reconnected with myself. I gave myself permission to go inward and shut out the noise of external expectations. This allowed me to hear my own voice again.

I reflected on what truly matters. I wasn’t just moving forward out of habit—I got intentional about the next phase of my life and business.

I embraced rest as a power move, not a weakness. And I did it unapologetically! (Because let’s be real—there are no awards given out at the end of your life for being a burnt out beotch!)

I have done this every time I’ve felt out of kilter, and like I wasn’t in charge of my own life. And every time it has led to something better. Use me as evidence, this can be true for you, too.

The Science of the Pause: Why It’s Essential for Women Over 40

1. Your Brain Needs Recovery to Thrive

Studies show that rest and reflection enhance problem-solving, creativity, and decision-making. According to neuroscientist Dr. Sara Mednick, deep rest actually improves cognitive function—meaning when you take a break, you come back sharper, stronger, and more innovative. So rest is good for your brain!

2. Hormonal Shifts Make Downtime Even More Crucial

Midlife brings huge hormonal changes (hello, perimenopause and menopause!) that affect sleep, mood, and energy. Chronic stress worsens these effects, while intentional rest helps regulate cortisol levels, reducing anxiety and overwhelm.

3. It’s the Key to Midlife Reinvention

This one is my favorite! Research from the Harvard Business Review found that people who intentionally take breaks for reflection are more likely to make bold, fulfilling life changes—whether it’s switching careers, starting a passion project, or redefining personal priorities.

So if you’ve been feeling stuck, uninspired, or lost… maybe you don’t need to push harder. Maybe you need to pause and listen to what your soul is asking for.

How to Embrace the Pause Without Guilt

It’s a challenge for women to rest or focus on their own needs without guilt tagging along. Slowing down can feel impossible when you’re so used to doing it all. Here’s how to take a break, guilt free, so you can recharge and come back better than ever:

Reframe Rest as Productive – Use this as your new mantra: “Taking a break isn’t quitting—it’s recalibrating so I can move forward with clarity.”

Set Boundaries with Your Time & Energy – Prioritize what (and who) nourish you and say no to what (and who) drains you—with NO apologies! (Consider this your permission slip!)

Give Yourself a ‘Pause Challenge’ – Try one day, one week, or even one month of stepping back from the expectations and obligations that don’t serve you. Start small because it will feel weird!

Journal Through the Discomfort – Journaling is my favorite power tool! Use prompts like: What do I truly need right now? What am I afraid will happen if I slow down? Who do I need to have a conversation with because they will have feelings about this?

Surround Yourself With Women Who Get It – Community is everything. Whether through friends, coaching, therapy, or books, find support to help you take the next step. (If you’re craving real conversations about midlife reinvention, come hang out with us in my Facebook group Riding The Midlife Wave.)

Trust That Growth Happens in Stillness – Some of the biggest breakthroughs come when we stop forcing things.

Your Next Step: Are You Ready to Take a Breath?

Pausing isn’t about losing time—it’s about reclaiming it. And you know me, I’m all about the reclamation! If you’re craving clarity, permission, or support in navigating your next chapter, I got chu! Keep reading.

The Bottom Line?

Pausing, for midlife women, isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, uninspired, or disconnected from yourself, here is your big juicy permission slip to step back and listen. Your next chapter isn’t written by doing more—it’s written by tuning in to what you truly desire and BEing more.

So tell me… when’s the last time you truly gave yourself permission to rest? Let me know in the comments.

With love & a whole lot of midlife rebellion! K

P.S. Ready to get realigned and step into your best chapter? I’ve got space for 1:1 coaching clients. Hit reply or DM me on Instagram (@karen_shatafian_coach) and let’s chat about your next delicious chapter.