Radical Self-Care for Midlife Women: The Key to Living Your Best F*cking Life

Did you know that depression and anxiety tend to increase for women in midlife? Hormonal shifts, caregiving demands, career transitions, and life’s ever-evolving challenges can make this stage feel SO overwhelming. But here’s the truth, and I really want you to hear me: midlife is not a crisis—it’s a freaking AWAKENING. It’s when women wake up to their own needs and desires after having them on the back burner with the heat off for decades!

And radical self-care? It’s not a luxury—it’s a necessity.

Women are conditioned to believe that self-care is selfish. That putting themselves first is wrong. That they should always be available, accommodating, and giving. That they should take care of the needs of everyone around them before themselves.

Fuck. That.

It’s time to rewrite the narrative. To claim the life you are worthy of, one filled with vitality, pleasure, and unapologetic joy. Radical self-care is the foundation for that life, and it starts NOW.

When Women Decide To Invest In Themselves

When my clients come to me, they are usually in survival mode. They’ve been handling All. The. Things. for years and have usually just had one of the Big 5 Midlife Transitions hit them like a ton of bricks. (Divorce, Empty Nest, Retirement/Career Shifts, Caregiving Parents, Their Own Health Issues)

Once this happens, they just can’t keep all the balls in the air any longer. That’s where I come in. I help them learn (yup, they have to learn it) to prioritize themselves. They learn about their desires and pleasure and most importantly I help them unwind the thought processes that have convinced them they are supposed to sacrifice themselves for everyone else around them.

When women come to me for coaching, I teach them how to prioritize themselves without guilt and without abandoning the people they love.

What Radical Self-Care Looks Like in Midlife

Radical self-care isn’t bubble baths and spa days (although I’m ALL FOR a good massage.) It’s about deeply nourishing yourself—mind, body, and soul. It’s about boundaries, balance, and boldly choosing YOU. EVERY DAY!

Here are some simple ways you can start:

1. Eat Like You Love Yourself

You deserve food that makes you feel good. That means nutrient-dense meals AND the cake. Stop labeling food as “good” or “bad” and start prioritizing nourishment AND things that are delicious. We’re not here to be unhealthy OR deprive ourselves!

2. Move Your Body

Exercise doesn’t have to be a punishment. Although, believe me, I know it can sometimes feel like it. Dance in your kitchen. (This is my favorite.) Take a long walk. Lift heavy shit. Stretch in the morning. Find movement that feels like a celebration, not a chore. I love taking midday dance breaks when I feel my neck tighten because I’ve been at my desk for too long. remember, if you body is moving, that’s a privilege.

3. Build Strength—Physically and Emotionally

This is my goal for myself as I age. To be strong in my body and my mind. Yes, lift weights to keep your bones strong. But also strengthen your boundaries. Say NO to what drains you and YES to what excites you—without guilt. (That’s the real flex.) I know how challenging this can be, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong!

4. Master Stress Or It Will Master You

Stress is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Prioritize tools that regulate your nervous system—breathwork, meditation, journaling, or even screaming into a pillow if that’s what helps. I’ve definitely recommended this to more than one of my clients. Find what works for you. And if you find you can’t do it alone, there is NO shame in asking for help. Leaning on a friend. Finding a group of supportive people. Or hiring a coach or therapist.

5. Rest, And Don’t Feel Guilty For It

Midlife women are burnt the fuck out. Here is your permission slip to sleep more. Nap without apology. Take breaks. Do less. And then do even less. Your body, mind, and soul need it. I KNOW how hard this can be because we’ve been conditioned to believe resting means we’re not being productive. Or taking a break means we’re weak. These are toxic messages we received about our worth and earning our value. Meaning, “we’re not valuable if we’re not handling everything and getting shit done.” This is complete BULLSHIT! 

6. Feel Your Feels

You’ve been through some shit. NO one gets to their 40s, 50s, and beyond without dealing with hard things. And midlife emotions are a rollercoaster. (Hello, menopause.) Therapy, coaching, somatic work, mindfulness, are just some of the tools that can help you work it all out. Find what helps you sit with the feeling and process them, so you can release what is weighing you down. And learn to let go of what is no longer serving you and your highest good.

7. Live with Renewed Passion and Purpose

You’re not here to simply exist. You’re here to be the most vibrant version of yourself. What lights you up? What excites you? Make space for what feels good. (No more waiting until the kids move out, your partner gets on board, or retirement!) Create a life that curls your toes, in only the best way! ;) Today!

8. Make Pleasure a Priority

A life that feels good is created by doing things that feel good. On the daily. Laugh. Have great sex. Wear the bold lipstick. Travel solo. Read smutty romance novels. Say fuck more. Whatever brings you joy, DO IT!

Radical Self-Care Isn’t Easy, But It’s ALWAYS Worth It

This is about deciding what feels good and deciding your worth it. Radical self-care takes effort, but it’s how you live a thriving, fully-lived life. And you are so fucking worthy of that. 

Ask me how I know? ;)

So be honest with me, do you practice any kind of self-care? Let me know in the comments

(And if you don’t, or aren’t sure, that’s ok too, we can change that, starting today.)

If you’re like most women and self-care is something you struggle with, get on my email list Dare You To Move. You’ll get weekly tips and inspiration for living your best freaking midlife, and radical self care is definitely on the menu! Just keep scrolling and get on the list. ⬇️

This is your invitation to care for yourself like the f*cking queen you are so you can live your best life.