Why Your 40s Are The Most Powerful Decade of Your Life

Your 40s Are About Thriving

If you think life starts to slow down in your 40s, think again. This is the time to really put your foot on the gas.

I frequently tell my kids, who are in their late 20s, "Just wait ‘till you hit your 40s. That’s when things get really good." At first, they were shocked to hear me say this. They, like most people, had bought into the B.S. idea that it’s all over after 40. Now, they don’t bat an eye when I bring it up.

I want them to know, aging is not something to dread! Life has the potential to be everything they’ve ever wanted. But they have to make it so!

And it’s true. My 40s weren’t just about aging, they were about awakening. I certainly won’t call them the best years of my life because, honestly, they held some of my deepest grief and sadness. But they were also the years I deeply connected with myself in ways I never had before.

Your 20s and 30s Are About Surviving

Our 20s? Pure chaos. We’re stumbling through careers, relationships, and expectations, trying to figure shit out. We’re following the rules, trying to ‘get it right,’ measuring ourselves against invisible standards we never realized were running the show.

Our 30s? Managing. Juggling. Hustling. We’re in the thick of it—careers, families, relationships, responsibilities. Maybe we’ve settled down, maybe we haven’t. Either way, we’re just trying to keep all the plates spinning, barely pausing to ask if any of it actually feels right.

But then, our 40s arrive.

And for women, this is when everything can shift.

Your 40s: The Midlife Awakening

Our 40s is a time of reckoning.

We start lifting the veil on all the conditioning we, as women, grow up with. We begin to see how we’ve been compelled to build lives that look good on the outside but may feel empty on the inside. We realize how often we’ve shrunk ourselves to make others comfortable, how many times we’ve compromised, stayed silent, or swallowed our truth.

And here’s the beautiful, terrifying part: If we have the courage to face it, our 40s give us the permission to come alive.

My 40s was the decade where I drew a line in the sand. Where I started saying no to things that weren’t aligned, and started saying yes to things that lit me up. The decade where I stopped living on autopilot and  started living by desire, passion, and purpose. Where I gave a big middle finger to the conditioning I’d learned that said my needs should be at the bottom of the list.

My 40s was the decade where I took a hard look at my life and asked:

"What am I no longer willing to settle for?"

Because let’s be honest, this is when it starts to sink in that life is  too short to live by default. And if we don’t claim our own pleasure, passion, and purpose now, then when?

The Courage To Put Yourself First 

But here’s the catch, this kind of transformation takes courage. Your best life isn’t handed to you on a silver platter. You have to create it. And that takes work.

It takes pulling up your big girl panties  and putting yourself first after decades of people-pleasing, sacrificing, and managing everyone else’s happiness. It takes boldness to rewrite the story you’ve been told your whole life, the one that says a woman’s worth is tied to how well she takes care of people and keeps everything together.

And this takes courage because everything around you will tell you you’re selfish for wanting to prioritize yourself. Even your own brain will try to tell you you’re wrong for wanting to be authentically happy. This isn’t because you are wrong. It just feels wrong because of the way women have been conditioned. Read that again.

This is why so many women in midlife feel stuck, restless, or disconnected. They’ve been playing by the rules and waiting for the prize: Feeling fulfilled and energized about life. And most times, that never comes.

In their 40s, midlife women wake up to the fact that something has to shift, but they don’t know where to start. (Luckily, I’m here to help.)

Your 50s: The Reward For Doing The Work In Your 40s 

So when I tell my kids, “Your 40s are the best years yet,” I f*cking mean it. Not because I’m in my 50s now and look back with longing, hell no. My 50s are a different, beautiful beast altogether.

I don’t long for my 40s. I honor them. Because they were the years that allowed me to step fully into who I am today. Who I was created to be. The fullest version of myself. My 40s gave me the clarity, the confidence, and the freedom to live my life on my terms.

I put in the work, built my courage, and designed a life that freaking curls my toes. In ALL the best ways! :)

So if you’re a woman in your 40s right now, I have one question for you:

Are you willing to wake up? Do you have the courage to take a good, hard look at your life?

Because your 40s isn’t the end.

It has the potential to be the beginning of everything you’ve ever wanted. But you have to make it so.

"Want to learn how to step into the next best version of your life? Read my posts talking about building your confidence in midlife, how to get good at prioritizing yourself in a world that doesn’t want you to, and radical self care as the means to get you to a midlife well lived.

"If you’re feeling this in your bones and are ready for a shift but don’t know how to navigate it, even if you’re a little scared, let’s talk. Book a free discovery call with me here." Consider me your midlife wing woman.